I’m Stefanie, and I’ve been a teacher in the world of education for over 15 years. From teaching in Houston at Title 1 schools to educational consulting and one-on-one tutoring in Seattle, I’ve had the pleasure of working in all sorts of educational environments. I am a certified 4-9th grade public school teacher in social studies, ELAR, and ESL.
This is my story of how I got close to the tough cookies—and what I learned that could help you too!
We call students “difficult” when they question what we think, disagree with us, or don’t follow the rules. These are the students who talk back, can’t sit still, and disrupt the class. I’m not talking about students who are a danger to themselves or others (just the ones who are a bit tricky).
So, how do we keep the class (and ourselves) calm when dealing with these tough students? Here’s what I’ve learned:
The cornerstones of a teacher-student bond are respect, consistency, sincerity, engagement, and independence.
The best teams are built on trust. One of the ways to build trust is through respect.
The Role of Respect in Student Engagement
Historically, respect was seen as something students were required to offer people in positions of authority, simply because they held the position. In modern times, respect is more of a two-way street. As an educator, you can model how to respect others and demand respect.
-
- When dealing with difficult students, remember to use a tone of voice, facial expression, and body language that expresses that you like, respect, and accept them. Speak to troublemakers the same way you would speak to the model student.
-
- It’s critical to separate the inherent value and goodness of a human being from their sometimes (or even frequent) bad behavior.
-
- Practice “beginner’s mind” each time you deal with the student in question. Always be open to all possibilities and stay free of judgement and preconceived ideas regarding your challenging student.
-
- Assume the very best in each student at each moment, and let your words and nonverbal language reflect it.
Consistency: The Key to Classroom Management
Stick to your principles! Set clear rules for the class and stick to these rules consistently to keep the class in order. Let your students know that rules are in place in any classroom to make sure that everyone has an optimal environment for learning.
Sincerity and Student Relationships
Respect and sincerity go hand in hand. Sincerity is defined a “the quality of being free from pretense, deceit or hypocrisy.” Our students are keen observers when it comes to our sincerity.
Sometimes they forget, and it’s important for us to remind them that we are on their side. Say something like: “I’m on your side, I come here every day in hopes that you continue to learn and grow and become more capable and competent and ultimately succeed in life. That’s my only goal here today.”
The opposite of sincerity is sarcasm. Sarcasm is not something I use with students. Ever.
One easy way to figure out why a student is acting out in class is to ASK!
Ask them what they need from you. This is most effective when they are actively misbehaving and/or expecting some type of consequence. Asking with absolute sincerity works surprisingly well.
Here are a few ways you can say it:
-
- “I’m not sure what’s going on with you today, but you can’t act that way in here, so let me know what it is that you need.”
-
- “What do you need from me?”
-
- “What is it that I can do for you to help you finish your (insert assignment/objective)?”
These are sincere questions, as if to ask a guest in your home if they are too hot, too cold, need an extra blanket or a glass of water. You would be surprised on how much buy-in I get from a simple “Are you tired today?”.
Teachers are public servants at heart. One of our functions is to make sure our students are comfortable and have what they need in order to learn. Are the lights too bright? Do you dislike my morning music? Do you not like sitting in the front and feel embarrassed that all eyes are on you? Is the curriculum boring?
Regardless of their response, which will often come as “I don’t know” or “nothing”—the sheer act of asking shows respect and sincerity.
Engage Them: Play to Student Interests for a Positive Classroom Environment
Ask your difficult students questions about the curriculum. Engage them by showing that you value their opinion.
Have them “think” of the idea for the classroom activity or give feedback on whatever the day’s choice may be about.
Let them choose a Boom Card activity. This is one of my favorites.
Ask their opinion, and give them the chance to veto every now and then. Let them decide. Trust their judgment. Get them involved and offer them creative liberties.
Fostering Student Independence and Responsibility
Make the trickiest students your classroom managers, attendance takers, and document transporters. They love the opportunity to be the one who runs up to the office for you or brings supplies to other teachers in distant classrooms.
If you want their trust, you must trust them. Most students who have been entrusted with something important don’t want to disappoint you.
There’s no better method of bonding with a difficult student than to say, “I trust you to walk up to the front office by yourself.”
Students naturally want to comply, strive, learn, grow, and belong. Even the tough cookies.
I hope this article helped you see some perspective. . .Next blog I’ll tell you about a time I got volunteered (more like voluntold) to teach in-school suspension for one period in the morning!
Check out these three activities for working on behavioral skills with your students.
